Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
