i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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