She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
