and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
