Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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