peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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