Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
someone owes me an orgasm
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
