you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
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But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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