How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
