Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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