We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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