how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
