Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
