So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
