It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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