I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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