I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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