I heard we made out
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
