Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
