its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
