Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The uberlube is also flammable
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
