umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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