we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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