Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
