The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
