do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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