I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
