I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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