I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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