If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
