I hate all girls vehemently.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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