what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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