the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
