chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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