community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
