cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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