So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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