Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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