The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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