i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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