you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My ass is underappreciated
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize