I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
