Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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