You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
