Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
