nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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