my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
oh god was she eating orange peels again
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
