4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
COCAINE IS GR8
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
