That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
