her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
