I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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