Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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