a queef is a wish your heart makes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
