I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Soap is not a condiment
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
